bittersweet anniversary

One year ago I woke up, got prettified, and put on the most expensive and beautiful article of clothing I've owned thus far in my life,

One year ago, I piled into a car with some of the most beautiful and best girls I know and drove up to where a church full of people were waiting,

One year ago, I walked the most exhilarating walk I had walked in my life,

One year ago, in front of friends and loved ones, I married the love of my life,

I walked in a Miss and out a Mrs,

Danced my first dance as a married woman,

 

and realized my new found 'baller' status.

...but today is not only the first anniversary of my marriage, but also the 10th anniversary of the attacks on the US and the day the towers fell.  As much as I remember this day last year, the memory of this day 10 years ago is still burned in my brain as well.  Seeing the fighter jets fly overhead campus on my way to my Cognitive Psych class.  Having my professor walk in to a crowded lecture hall and simply write on the board 'Class Cancelled' and then walk out.  Heading to the flooded computer labs at the campus center whilc CNN.com crashed with the incredible influx of traffic. Going to a nearby friend's dorm to try to get to a tv.  Watching the first tower fall and feeling numb. Watching the second tower fall along with my heart and the tears.  I thought about my father, who used to work there.  I thought about my many friends, who might have loved ones who were there that day.  I thought of my roommate, who would spend the next 7 hours trying to get in touch with her brother, who thankfully was ok.  I thought about how much the skyline I so often saw and took for granted, had forever changed that morning.  And I cried for a week and a half.

I often am asked why we chose this date last year to get married, especially considering how close we are to it all.  It was a difficult decision for me, because Hubster wasn't as close to it as I was (and still am), but it all boiled down to one simple fact: Life must go on.  The horrific events that occurred 10 years ago today will be forever imprinted in our hearts and minds, but now, for us, it will also be the day that we promised our lives to each other.  It's the day we said out loud (tho not really because of the type of ceremony we had) that our love for each other is stronger than the hate that was expressed to make this a historical date.  Admittedly, I'm torn because today is the 1st anniversary of the happiest day of my life so far, but it's also the 10th anniversary of the worst.  But if I am to move on with my life, I will spend the day embracing the 10 year memory, but celebrating the first of many years of marriage to come.  So...

Happy anniversary my love.  It's been an exciting first year and I look forward to the next 100+ and growing old together.

 

btw...I've been absent here lately with my posting...but that's cuz I've moved over to a new site.  Come check me out my new blog.




{ cindie }

thursday pick me up!

Sometimes you have one of those days that makes you want to put your head through a wall.  Today was one of those days...then I found this and while it didn't make the things I want to go away, well, go away, it did manage to make me laugh so hard I snorted.

You know that auto-correct feature on phones?  Well this site captures the best 15 auto-correct fails ever. Read. Laugh. Enjoy.    

#15: Worst Day Of The Week

#14: Special Delivery

#13: That Time Of The Month

#12: Stain Remover

#11: We Need To Talk

#10: iPhone and Relationship Advice Don’t Mix

See the rest of them here.  Numbers 12 and 6 I think are my favorite.

{ cindie }

Confession # 34

I am a water bottle junkie/snob.

Some people collect stamps, some people collect coins.  Apparently I collect water bottles.  The other night as I was putting our glassware away I struggled to find cupboard space because I have a whole shelf dedicated to re-usable water bottles....approximately 7 of them.  It's a problem...

pretty

I actually have this same bottle with a white sleeve...and yes, I want this one too.  

Probably the saddest part is, I typically will just re-use the same SmartWater bottle that I bought from some convenience store on my way to work instead of one of my 7 bottles.  I mean...isn't the point of the re-useable ones to save money and reduce waste?  Counter-intuitive me spends more money on re-useable bottles that don't get used and buys the disposable ones to re-use...I don't get me sometimes.

And then there's the other point...I am a bottled water snob.  I'll drink Poland Spring or Deer Park or some other spring water brand...but I prefer SmartWater...which is isn't even spring water, it's vapor distilled!  Add to the mix that I won't drink filtered water (which hello SmartWater is pretty much the same just fancier terminology), except for at work when I refill my disposable bottle. It's most definitely because of the labeling and the fact that I like the little characters that are on the inside of the bottle.  

via

You can't see but this is the one with the fish

You could probably fill that bottle with hose water and I'd drink it.

So there you have it, I am a water bottle hoarder and a bottled water snob.

Anyone else have quirky collections or bottled water preferences?  I can't be the only one!

{ cindie }

weekend recap

It's been a very busy few days in my little life...

On Wednesday evening, I was sitting in bed at 10pm when I got a text from a friend asking me if I wanted to go to the U2 concert with her in Philadelphia the next night. My response...

*blink blink* 
Huh? On a work night?


Mind you, my spontaneous side flitted out the window when I left my city life years ago.  Now I'm a too tired after work, sitting in bed reading by 10pm, asleep by 11:30 at the latest kinda gal.  Realizing how old and sad that made me sound, when the opportunity arose, after some thought, I went for it.  It was a great time...the ride down was an experience when I became co-navigator but got a phone call from Hubster at the absolute wrong time and we ended up one state further south than where we wanted to be.  Oops!

Friday was none other than Harry Potter Day!  I wasn't a fan from the start...I only recently began reading the books, but I caught the movie bug around the Half Blood Prince - that might very well be the first movie made after I started dating Hubster.  I loved the movie and kinda want to go see it again..oh...and Hubster bought me a replica of Hermoine's wand.  Before that, I was running around the house with a chopstick casting spells.  Go ahead and laugh...I'm letting my geek peek thru :)

Saturday and Sunday were spent hosting parties at our house.  Hubster is turning the big 3-0 tomorrow and we had a friend pool party on Saturday and then a family party Sunday.  Needless to say, I'm tired and partied out.  Aside from seeing friends that I haven't seen in awhile, the bonus is that we've go so much leftover food I won't need to cook for a week (which works out because this is supposed to be a HOT week).  I also got my refurbished Canon dslr camera on Saturday!  I was so excited to see the FedEx man backing into our driveway that I ran out of the house and slammed the door on my finger.  Ouch.  I kept telling Hubster it's throbbing and the fleshy part of my finger felt hard (yup, I'm that kind of patient) and he told me to ice it, but I was too preoccupied unwrapping my new toy.  Buddy was over, so he and Latte were the lucky models for my test pictures.  I'm pretty sure they were tired of the crazy lady chasing them around with a camera.  I'm planning on taking a workshop so I can learn how to take good photos.  

Here's to hoping it's a quick work week!

{ cindie }

because it is just a dress afterall

...but it also happens to have been my wedding dress.  And I loved her.  And I still do...but for the past 10 months now she's been stored away in a bag, in a closet, in a room uninhabited.  And I'm beginning to think that maybe it's time for her to find a new home, on a new body, to be admired and photographed on another bride's big day.

hello beautiful - wedding photo by Allure West Studios

It was exactly 2 years from today that Hubster was down on one knee asking me to marry him.  Two years from today when I knew that I needed to find my beautiful, take his breath away, make him cry (which he did not but that's ok) gown to wear on my approach to becoming his wife.  And find her I did.

And now, 2 years later from knowing I needed to find her, 10 months after wearing her, I think I'm ready to let her go.  Sure, I could keep her in hopes that if I had a daughter she would want to wear her.  But that's a big if.  And, to be honest, if I were to have a daughter, I don't know that I would want to rob her from the experience of finding her own dress.  Especially when there might be someone out there now, not able to spend thousands of dollars on the dress she loves.  If I could help someone now, I'd rather do that than hold on to my dress for a big future IF. 

lovely little details

Plus, remember how I said I wanted a dslr camera?  Well I'm thinking I could use what I get for my dress and put it towards that.  But I'm still thinking.  And I'm not sure that Hubster is sold on the idea either.  There's still sentimental value attached to my dress.  It's what I wore the day we started our lives together as husband and wife.  It's the dress I wore when we promised to love each other until the day we die.  But...it's just a dress.  Hubster and I started our lives together long before the dress and we will love each other long after the dress is gone.  So why does it feel so hard to say goodbye?

Because once I put her on some website for sale there's no going back.  The realist in me says 'do it!', the romantic, sentimental side of me says 'I don't know'.  Maybe I just need to put her on one last time before I'll be ready to say goodbye.  Maybe I just need to immortalize her in pictures and thank her for making me feel so beautiful on our wedding day.  So here goes:

Dear dress,

You are amazing.  You are beautiful.  You deserve your own photoshoots.

I fell in love with you so quickly, and have stayed in love with you ever since.  I will always love you for the way you made me feel.  You made me a bride.  You were the last thing I wore as a single woman and the first thing I wore as a wife.

wedding photo courtesy of Allure West Studios

I would love to love you and hold onto you forever, but I know that's not fair.  You deserve to make some other bride feel the way you made me feel.  You deserve to be adored and to have someone else fall in love with you.  You deserve more than living in a garment bag in a closet.  You deserve to be in photos like this

courtesy of Allure West Studios

on a new body.  And I need to let you have that.  I've never before spent the amount of money I did on you before, but I never before knew so wholeheartedly that every penny was worth it.  Thank you for the memories.  I will always love you.

What do you think I should do?  Hold on to her forever, or give her the chance to make someone else feel the way she made me feel?  I don't know if I'll ever be truly 100% ready to say goodbye, but I also know that I can't allow myself to not share her with someone else either.  Oh, and thanks for indulging my craziness in writing a letter to my wedding dress!

{ cindie }

gimmie gimme want want

Ever have one of those days where all of a sudden everything you've wanted for the past few months comes rushing back to the forefront of your consciousness and you just want.it.NOW.  But then you realize that as pretty and shiny and awesome these things are, and how happy it would make you to have them, well...it's just not in the budget right now. sadface.

Here's a taste of what I have been wanting to get my sticky little hands on...

not necessarily this one, but a dslr

Oh the pictures I could take...

so cute!

I'm falling in the trend and loving maxi dresses and skirts right now.  

macbook pro

I love my macbook, but despite replacing the hard drive it's still pretty slow

funny, this bag is 7x more money on the LV site

I don't really know when or why I started wanting this bag.  I'm a big advocate of not being a walking billboard/ad campaign, but for some reason this bag looks so fresh to me.  But then again, I still love my $25 purse..plus, I'd be perfectly happy just buying the knockoff...

That's just a few items on my wishlist.  Hopefully one day I can cross a couple of them off my list!

What's on your wishlist?

{ cindie }

puppy therapy

So I'm gonna come right out and say it, I've been a horrible blogger the past few weeks.  .

Life's been a bit hectic with work and it's hard to find the energy to do much after putting in 9 hours at the office and then another hour or two at home.  The only thing I've really been able to dedicate my time to, other than work, is running.  So at least I'm happy to say I'm in week 5 of my Cto5K program!  I'm not back at that 'in love with running' feeling I once had, but I am at that 'feel crappy if I don't do it' place...progress.

With Hubster and I working opposite schedules, it's nice to have the down time after a hectic day at work, but at the same time it sucks.  Sucks that I don't have anyone at home to hug me after a rough day.  Sucks that there's no one to rub my shoulders and tell me a funny story to help take my mind off of things.  Sucks to not have someone to eat dinner with.  Not ideal first year of marriage to say the least.

But at the same time what I do have to come home to is pretty awesome.  Walking in the door at 8pm after a rough work day is not my idea of a good time, but seeing my pup Latte, who is so excited to have mommy home that not just her tail but her whole body wags is quite possibly the best greeting I could get (oh and she's gotten over that whole 'leave a present if you're home late thing, thank.you.jesus.).  Last Friday, I had the pleasure of dog-sitting my in-laws' dog, Buddy, and oh let me tell you, I was in puppy heaven!  Double the love, double the kisses....stress gone.  I honestly don't know what I'd do without my pup..she's my baby, my littlest best friend, my sleeping buddy, my therapist.  She's caused me her fair share of stress as well, but when she looks up at me with her big ole coal like eyes looking all cute and rolling on her back for belly rubs, I've forgotten what she ever did to upset me.  I bet Hubster wishes he could master that trick!

And now, some puppy love:

This is Buddy, my in-laws' dog.  He's a Havanese and poodle mix.  He's a big love bug and I've nicknamed him Loaf...cuz after about 5 minutes of playing with Latte, he gets pooped out and just plops down on the floor...or in your lap...and if he makes it in your lap...well it's not yours anymore.  Don't believe me...here's the evidence:

Yup...dead front and center.  I lost some feeling in my thighs that day.  But I loved it!

I call this Latte's 'worried grandmother' look.  I was out on the deck watering my (now dead) plants and what do I see when I turn around but this face.  I love how she's peeking our behind the curtain.  And look at that expression.  Oh...my dog has personality I tell you!

This last one is her 'rug slug' pose.  She does this so you try to get down as low as she is and then she pounces and slimes you with wet puppy kisses...which in this puppy mommy's opinion are divine!

Dogs...such great therapy.  Just thinking about her and her silly personality calms me now.

{ cindie }