Sunday, July 3, 2011

because it is just a dress afterall

...but it also happens to have been my wedding dress.  And I loved her.  And I still do...but for the past 10 months now she's been stored away in a bag, in a closet, in a room uninhabited.  And I'm beginning to think that maybe it's time for her to find a new home, on a new body, to be admired and photographed on another bride's big day.

hello beautiful - wedding photo by Allure West Studios

It was exactly 2 years from today that Hubster was down on one knee asking me to marry him.  Two years from today when I knew that I needed to find my beautiful, take his breath away, make him cry (which he did not but that's ok) gown to wear on my approach to becoming his wife.  And find her I did.

And now, 2 years later from knowing I needed to find her, 10 months after wearing her, I think I'm ready to let her go.  Sure, I could keep her in hopes that if I had a daughter she would want to wear her.  But that's a big if.  And, to be honest, if I were to have a daughter, I don't know that I would want to rob her from the experience of finding her own dress.  Especially when there might be someone out there now, not able to spend thousands of dollars on the dress she loves.  If I could help someone now, I'd rather do that than hold on to my dress for a big future IF. 

lovely little details

Plus, remember how I said I wanted a dslr camera?  Well I'm thinking I could use what I get for my dress and put it towards that.  But I'm still thinking.  And I'm not sure that Hubster is sold on the idea either.  There's still sentimental value attached to my dress.  It's what I wore the day we started our lives together as husband and wife.  It's the dress I wore when we promised to love each other until the day we die.'s just a dress.  Hubster and I started our lives together long before the dress and we will love each other long after the dress is gone.  So why does it feel so hard to say goodbye?

Because once I put her on some website for sale there's no going back.  The realist in me says 'do it!', the romantic, sentimental side of me says 'I don't know'.  Maybe I just need to put her on one last time before I'll be ready to say goodbye.  Maybe I just need to immortalize her in pictures and thank her for making me feel so beautiful on our wedding day.  So here goes:

Dear dress,

You are amazing.  You are beautiful.  You deserve your own photoshoots.

I fell in love with you so quickly, and have stayed in love with you ever since.  I will always love you for the way you made me feel.  You made me a bride.  You were the last thing I wore as a single woman and the first thing I wore as a wife.

wedding photo courtesy of Allure West Studios

I would love to love you and hold onto you forever, but I know that's not fair.  You deserve to make some other bride feel the way you made me feel.  You deserve to be adored and to have someone else fall in love with you.  You deserve more than living in a garment bag in a closet.  You deserve to be in photos like this

courtesy of Allure West Studios

on a new body.  And I need to let you have that.  I've never before spent the amount of money I did on you before, but I never before knew so wholeheartedly that every penny was worth it.  Thank you for the memories.  I will always love you.

What do you think I should do?  Hold on to her forever, or give her the chance to make someone else feel the way she made me feel?  I don't know if I'll ever be truly 100% ready to say goodbye, but I also know that I can't allow myself to not share her with someone else either.  Oh, and thanks for indulging my craziness in writing a letter to my wedding dress!

{ cindie }


Carla Mae C. said...

Wow! Yeah I understand your dilemma. And I get both sides to making your decision. I haven't been engaged or married yet to give advice, but I'm sure you know what's best :) it is a gorgeous dress! Beautiful pick.

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